A New Lease On Life!~

Just so you know, there are some big changes taking place in our household. My daughter has opted to drop out of high school. This is her junior year. She wants to go ahead and take the GED and start college in the Fall. I have had mixed feelings about her decision, but deep down I feel it is ultimately her life. In some ways, probably most ways, I feel this is a good decision for her. There are some very minor reasons I do not want her to even consider it, but they are mostly selfish reasons on my part. I learned a long time ago my baby girl is different from most, she kind of marches to the beat of her own drum. She is very smart, creative, and artistic, and I do not want to drown that in her because of my insecurities (I want pics of her in her cap and gown and to see her graduate with her class). I think for the most part she has it all figured out. She knows what she wants and she is going after it. I am really, really proud of her for that.

I tend to second guess myself sometimes. I don't really think it is a good thing always. I was second guessing myself about this decision of hers, and my decision to let her do what she wants (probably panicking would be a better description), so I reached out to several of her close friends to try to get them to talk to her about it. I felt she would listen more to them than she would me. Most were very supportive of my request and, for the most part, they have all supported her. She has some awesome friends. She is very blessed in that respect, for sure.

Anyway, moving on, for a long time now she has been very interested in volunteer work and has begged me to find something for her to do. I did one better than that, I found something both of us can volunteer for together, and it is a very worthy cause. It just goes to show how God can work out even the tiniest details.

I actually wrote this post called, "Reflections" a couple of years ago. I was reviewing my Journey Through The Valley of Shadows journal yesterday and came across this particular post. It is basically a summary of what my Journey Through The Valley of Shadows journal is about. I had a strong feeling I needed to post it in my notes on Facebook. I have learned to follow my "intuition." Sometimes, I feel that intuition is actually the Holy Spirit leading me.

So far, I have gotten three responses to that post. The first one was from a high school friend who said I should definitely keep telling Scottie's story. The second was from another high school friend who felt that the info I have in this journal could benefit someone she knows who is currently dealing with kids with similar issues. The third was from my son's 4-year-old kindergarten teacher when he attended First Baptist (he is 26 now). It turns out my post really struck a nerve with her. She was really touched by what I had written, as were my other two friends. She feels like I have a passion for this type of work (I do) and that I am wasting my talents by staying at home all the time. Turns out her daughter has just started a new ministry called BigHouse Foundation. It is for Foster kids in our area. Read more about it here:

http://www.ourbighouse.org/contact_us.html

My daughter has always been so good with kids. They seem to draw to her like she's a magnet. I guess part of that comes from being a part of such a large family. I think when all of us are together we have like close to 70. This is JUST immediate family (my hubby and his siblings, their spouses, their children, and grandchildren). It has been very good training for her, plus she has worked with kids at church through the years, as I have. She has also done some babysitting from time to time, so she has had lots of experience with kids. It has actually been my heart's desire to be in the ministry fulltime for quite a while now. My Dad was a minister, so it is in my blood.

Carrie and I went for a milkshake last night and went to the park, her favorite place to hang out, and had a long discussion. She talked to me about how I stay too much in her business and interfere too much in her life (I admit to that). I had very recently done something that she had asked me not to do and it backfired on me. I confessed it to her and she was understandably upset with me, but at least I told her the truth. I am like really trying here, but old habits sure die hard. ::big sigh:: It's really hard when you have always done everything for a child and have always made decisions for them, and then you have to learn to let go, but I know I have got to learn to do just that for her well-being. I told her I feel it is because I really no longer have a life. I stay inside these four walls day after day after day. Cabin fever is enough to drive anybody over the edge. Anyway, she and I both are really excited about this project and cannot wait to see it come to fruition. Will keep you posted!

Blessings!~

Susan