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I Want Me Back!~

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Graphic courtesy of my friend, Linda (fasttrack58)

Conversation between Hubby and me:

HUBBY: "Where is my wife? I want my wife back."

ME: "I don't know. I want her back too!"

Since this thing called menopause has settled into my life, I am so not the sweet humble person people are used to. For several years now I have been "losing" myself. Menopause has made me evil, and the kicker is I really cannot help it. Not only has it changed my personality, but I have the mouth of a sailor. I am sure my minister Father has turned over several times in his grave. Even my own mother has commented on it. I am so not proud of it. It has gotten to where I am afraid to leave my house because I am afraid I will go off on somebody and live to regret it or greatly embarrass myself.

My husband went with me a little while back to the vet to pick up one of our animals. I had gone off on the receptionist earlier in the day, but profusely apologized to her later. I explained that I am dealing with hypothyroidism, a vitamin D deficiency, plantar fasciitis in both feet, high cholesterol, AND on top of all that, MENOPAUSE. To top that off, my doc thinks I might have multiple sclerosis. I tell you, when I hit my 40's, I started falling apart!

My personality started changing about two years ago and not for the better either. I am surprised I have any friends left at all, but fortunately for me, most of my friends are my age and are dealing with the same thing, so they are more understanding.

The lady at the vet, Cindy, she told my husband she was like that too when she went through it. She said she got into it with a lady at the grocery store one time and her husband had to hold her off the lady. Sadly, he could not deal with her personality change and they went through a divorce! She told my husband, believe her when she says she truly cannot help it, but the good news is it doesn't last forever.

Now, I have always been a person who believed in taking responsibility for my actions, but this is something I was totally unprepared for. My friends who have already been through it and are on the other side say when I am considered postmenopausal (which will be between Thankgiving and Christmas if I counted right) I will feel like a new woman. I just want my friends that told me this to know I am holding you to that and PLEASE LORD LET IT BE SO!!!!!!!! I WANT ME BACK!
Happy Blogging!~
Susan






Comments

Linda :) said…
I haven't even hit the menopause part yet and I don't want to be with me, lol... of course I don't know that for a fact and maybe I am not just perimenapausal at 44.... who knows... I just know my mouth keeps opening and I can't stop the words from coming out and oh the yelling...... St. John's Wort is my friend....
Big Hugs!!!!!
Amy said…
dude. what good is getting older if you can't say random shit and walk away?! that's the only thing I'm looking forward to about getting older!
I like you just the way you are.
D said…
I hear you... but hey you've earned the right to bitch a little..
Cindi said…
I want me, myself & I back....lol
Bookncoffee said…
Well, I have all this to look forward to...I'm 45 so I guess we'll be finding out soon. lol
I think the older we get the more we feel we have license to say what we want and demand that other's hear it. lol. And when we don't feel good on top of that - there is less inhibition to put a lid on it. I'm sure your family will understand - or not - but you can at least tell them you have a good excuse. ha ha.
Char said…
I'm sixty-four, and if you are hoping for a quick release from the effects of menopause....I hate to inform you, it won't be happening soon. I have been going through it since I was 42! I still have hot flashes that would melt polar ice caps! And mood swings that are absolutely global!
Life's a bitch sometimes. Hang in and say bad words now & then!
betty said…
I didn't get the mood swings; I got the insomnia and mild hot flashes

I'm so sorry, Susan; I know it is tougher on some than others

hugs to you

betty
Monica said…
I remember overhearing my mom talking about memopause with her friend and thinking it must be the most dreadful experience and I prayed that I NEVER had to deal with all those things.

I guess my prayers got answered as I never had hot flashes or any of the other things that I hear women talk about. I hope you get yourself back soon and that you are feeling normal once again.

Monica
Anonymous said…
I sometimes think Iam at menopause but dont no if Iam? I wanted to thank you for stopping bye my blog I love your blog sounds like you have been though alot I hope you no iam here if you need me your right we share alot of simulartes anyway many Blessings Take care
Anonymous said…
Oh gosh. I am not looking forward to this stage in life. I am sorry that you are having a rough go of it. I do hope that your husband understands and is willing to ride this wave through. Many prayers are coming your way.
Sage Ravenwood said…
I've been premenopausal for 2 years now, I want to finally either get to the next stage or after hearing this skip it altogether. I think by the time you get to be our ages, you have reserved the right to be bitchy. Gosh knows, I've been patient enough with everyone else up to this point, it's their turn. Here's to hoping you can find you in the midst of it all hon! (Hugs)Indigo
Celeste said…
Try 500 mg magnesium. It helped me get my hot flashes totally under control. take it at night with calcium and it will help you sleep better also.
Unknown said…
That phase of life is pretty rough, Susan, but you'll get through it. And when you do, well, everything is a lot easier. I had a tough time of it too. Those who love you aren't going anywhere. Stay strong. love you, dear one.
Lisa said…
Oh dear... I'm about to 40 and the one thing I've really noticed is my energy level is dropping. I am going to get back on my walking as it is the only thing that helps me feel better. It combatted the cholesterol and the weight gain and gave me energy. I sleep better too when I get my walking in. Thanks for sharing with us. I know what you mean about having a good church. Our attendance has been really up and down and I always feel so blessed when we are there regular like. I think our souls are screaming for God to help us get there and smooth out the bumps in our lives. I believe we are in a place where we are about to come into huge blessing and make that turn. Hang in there. Just a little further and we will have our season of peace.
Lisa

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