Pardon me, if you have already read this entry in my original journal on AOHELL. This is a favorite personal entry and I don't want to lose it, so I beg your pardon making you have to read it again if that is indeed the case. The original post is as follows:
My baby girl was supposed to be going to her homecoming dance tonight, but she didn't make it because she was having trouble breathing and did not feel like going. My Mom had spent some money to outfit her. It breaks my heart she didn't get to go. Tears rolled down her face. It tore me up. Maybe when she is feeling more up to it, she can dress up in her outfit and I can at least take pictures of her. Her dress is gorgeous and fits her like a glove. The theme was Hollywood and all the kids were supposed to dress up like a Hollywood star. I have been tending to her and my husband since his work accident a few days ago. It made me think about what I have to leave behind when it is my time to go and I leave this world.
My legacy is...my family. They are the one thing I have done right in my life. It all started out under the stars one night standing in front of my parents house. My love was holding me in his arms. He never really asked me to marry him in the traditional sense, you know, the getting down on one knee and popping the ring out and saying, "Will you marry me?" It was more like we had been discussing what we wanted out of life. We had so very much in common and had the same goals.
He just looked and me and asked me, "Do you really think you could spend the rest of your life with me?"
My reply was, "There is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever."
We had been together a total of two weeks at this point. We were married five months later. On October 7th, we will celebrate 30 years together. I wish I could say it has all been a smooth ride and it has all been good, but I cannot do that for it would be a lie. I can say the majority of it has, say 85% of it.
There were three guys setting up a doublewide next door to us yesterday. I was out walking my dog when one of them approached her to pet her. We talked for a few minutes. Out of the blue he said, "You are married, aren't you?"
I said, "Yes, I am. Next week, we will celebrate 30 years together."
He said, "Are you still happy?"
I said, "Yes, I am."
He told me how he had never taken that step. He was in a serious relationship with a girl he said ended badly. Kinda burned him a little bit. I told him I could relate to that because it happened to my son also, except he was married. I explained it was why we were back in Alabama, to help him pick up the pieces of his life. We were so happy in Colorado, but it just about did my son in when his wife left him. That is all water under the bridge now, but it has taken him a long time to come to terms with it and me as well because I dearly loved my former daughter-in-law. From what I understand, she has remarried and has two children and is happy. It is all we ever wanted for her.
Sorry, got sidetracked a little. Back to my story: On August 6, 1982, we were blessed with a son. He, along with my husband, were the joys of my life. I didn't think it could be any better. I had lost a baby right before I got pregnant with him, but within a year I was pregnant again. I love my son with every fiber of my being. He and I have always shared a very special bond being my firstborn. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has made some mistakes as well, but hopefully, he has learned from them and they will make him a better person. I got pregnant again and sadly, I miscarried, so that was two miscarriages. I thought I was pregnant a third time and it is possible I miscarried a 3rd time, but we were never sure about that one, as it was never confirmed medically. I just figured God wanted me to have just the one child, so I settled into that mindset that my son was all we would ever have; however, I guess the good Lord felt differently.
My father died from a massive heart attack on May 11, 1991, which is another story in itself. I was on birth control pills and forgot to take them going through the grief of losing him. Every month, I tried to remember to start them back, but I kept forgetting. In September, I found out I was pregnant again. I could not believe it. It took a little while for it to sink in. I was even a little bit scared it would end up another miscarriage; however, I must have done something right because on May 23, 1992, I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She has been such a blessing to our lives. I call her my miracle baby because she is a baby I thought I would never have. I tend to be extremely overprotective of her. I cannot seem to help myself. I am too much so. I know it. I am working on it.
My family is everything to me. I thank God for them every single day. I love them will all of my heart and soul. They are my life...the reason I choose to go on breathing when life gets tough. Don't think there haven't been times when life got so bad, I have thought they might be better off without me. I know it is just Satan trying to bring me down. God blessed my husband and I with these two beautiful human beings and it our responsibility to guide them through the mountains and valleys of life as long as He sees fit to let us.
Being a parent does not come with an instruction manual. If only it were that easy! I have done a lot of good being a mother, but I have also failed miserably at times as well. Fortunately for me, my family knows me better than anybody. They know the good in me and they know the bad in me, my faults and my weaknesses. The great thing about that is they know the good in me far outweighs the bad, but they love me regardless (and they forgive me quicker than anyone else).
When my friends were planning their college careers, I was planning on a family, being a wife and mother. It is all I have ever wanted to be, perhaps because I had such a great example in my own mother.
I left it up to God to bring the right man into my life, which He did. Donnie is the love of my life (besides my relationship with my Heavenly Father). If it were not for me waiting on God as the scriptures tell us to do, I would not have the biggest blessings in my life, my family...my legacy.
My baby girl was supposed to be going to her homecoming dance tonight, but she didn't make it because she was having trouble breathing and did not feel like going. My Mom had spent some money to outfit her. It breaks my heart she didn't get to go. Tears rolled down her face. It tore me up. Maybe when she is feeling more up to it, she can dress up in her outfit and I can at least take pictures of her. Her dress is gorgeous and fits her like a glove. The theme was Hollywood and all the kids were supposed to dress up like a Hollywood star. I have been tending to her and my husband since his work accident a few days ago. It made me think about what I have to leave behind when it is my time to go and I leave this world.
My legacy is...my family. They are the one thing I have done right in my life. It all started out under the stars one night standing in front of my parents house. My love was holding me in his arms. He never really asked me to marry him in the traditional sense, you know, the getting down on one knee and popping the ring out and saying, "Will you marry me?" It was more like we had been discussing what we wanted out of life. We had so very much in common and had the same goals.
He just looked and me and asked me, "Do you really think you could spend the rest of your life with me?"
My reply was, "There is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever."
We had been together a total of two weeks at this point. We were married five months later. On October 7th, we will celebrate 30 years together. I wish I could say it has all been a smooth ride and it has all been good, but I cannot do that for it would be a lie. I can say the majority of it has, say 85% of it.
There were three guys setting up a doublewide next door to us yesterday. I was out walking my dog when one of them approached her to pet her. We talked for a few minutes. Out of the blue he said, "You are married, aren't you?"
I said, "Yes, I am. Next week, we will celebrate 30 years together."
He said, "Are you still happy?"
I said, "Yes, I am."
He told me how he had never taken that step. He was in a serious relationship with a girl he said ended badly. Kinda burned him a little bit. I told him I could relate to that because it happened to my son also, except he was married. I explained it was why we were back in Alabama, to help him pick up the pieces of his life. We were so happy in Colorado, but it just about did my son in when his wife left him. That is all water under the bridge now, but it has taken him a long time to come to terms with it and me as well because I dearly loved my former daughter-in-law. From what I understand, she has remarried and has two children and is happy. It is all we ever wanted for her.
Sorry, got sidetracked a little. Back to my story: On August 6, 1982, we were blessed with a son. He, along with my husband, were the joys of my life. I didn't think it could be any better. I had lost a baby right before I got pregnant with him, but within a year I was pregnant again. I love my son with every fiber of my being. He and I have always shared a very special bond being my firstborn. I am so proud of him and his accomplishments. He has made some mistakes as well, but hopefully, he has learned from them and they will make him a better person. I got pregnant again and sadly, I miscarried, so that was two miscarriages. I thought I was pregnant a third time and it is possible I miscarried a 3rd time, but we were never sure about that one, as it was never confirmed medically. I just figured God wanted me to have just the one child, so I settled into that mindset that my son was all we would ever have; however, I guess the good Lord felt differently.
My father died from a massive heart attack on May 11, 1991, which is another story in itself. I was on birth control pills and forgot to take them going through the grief of losing him. Every month, I tried to remember to start them back, but I kept forgetting. In September, I found out I was pregnant again. I could not believe it. It took a little while for it to sink in. I was even a little bit scared it would end up another miscarriage; however, I must have done something right because on May 23, 1992, I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. She has been such a blessing to our lives. I call her my miracle baby because she is a baby I thought I would never have. I tend to be extremely overprotective of her. I cannot seem to help myself. I am too much so. I know it. I am working on it.
My family is everything to me. I thank God for them every single day. I love them will all of my heart and soul. They are my life...the reason I choose to go on breathing when life gets tough. Don't think there haven't been times when life got so bad, I have thought they might be better off without me. I know it is just Satan trying to bring me down. God blessed my husband and I with these two beautiful human beings and it our responsibility to guide them through the mountains and valleys of life as long as He sees fit to let us.
Being a parent does not come with an instruction manual. If only it were that easy! I have done a lot of good being a mother, but I have also failed miserably at times as well. Fortunately for me, my family knows me better than anybody. They know the good in me and they know the bad in me, my faults and my weaknesses. The great thing about that is they know the good in me far outweighs the bad, but they love me regardless (and they forgive me quicker than anyone else).
When my friends were planning their college careers, I was planning on a family, being a wife and mother. It is all I have ever wanted to be, perhaps because I had such a great example in my own mother.
I left it up to God to bring the right man into my life, which He did. Donnie is the love of my life (besides my relationship with my Heavenly Father). If it were not for me waiting on God as the scriptures tell us to do, I would not have the biggest blessings in my life, my family...my legacy.
Comments
I'm sorry to hear that your daughter wasn't feeling well. I hope she better now.
I can so relate where you write that your family is the one thing you've done right. I feel the same way about myself. I did have a rough start, but it was only a built up exercise for the person I have become. But it's a process... Thanks again for visiting!
=) Ada
cindi
Glad you are settling in to blogger. Take care and have a good weekend. Oh and I hate that your daughter didn't get to go to the dance. Bless her heart. Save that dress and she'll get to wear it somewhere.
Sonya